My final thoughts

Well, my year of celebrating has come to an end and I wanted to share a few thoughts about my "experiment". Honestly, I think it was one of the best things I could have done with my life and it has been an incredible journey.

What started out as "I just want to challenge myself" turned out to be something so much more. God used "THE LIST" (as my friends and I refer to it) to work issues out in me, heal me, occupy me, distract me, push me to my limits, and show me things about myself and others that perhaps I would have not otherwise seen. For that, I am forever changed.

This year has been full of challenges. My dad was diagnosed with metastatic cancer and he had been fighting the battle of his life, as the daughter living the closest (and as a medical provider) it has been hard to switch hats between clinician and daughter, the ups and the downs of cancer treatment are so difficult on the family. My dearest and closest uncle passed away suddenly in March requiring me to go to Florida only a few days before my trip to Ethiopia. Honestly, the timing was God ordained as I was blessed to be able to be there to support my Aunt, and my sister and her kids were already in FL for vacation....God was so good to us such a sorrowful time. I acquired an illness in Ethiopia and returned with it and it lingered longer than I had anticipated, which prevented me from doing some of the things I wanted to do in the early summer. Then Fourth of July weekend, I sustained an injury to my foot by falling into a stupid MOLE HOLE ! That injury has lasted all the way until the present time and required surgery. But God has been faithful and I believe that "THE LIST" kept me sane during some of the darkest and most painful times of this past year.....it kept me moving forward, kept me pressing on! Despite all the things happening to me, I knew I had to finish the list and illness or not, foot injury or not, even my dad's illness (he would tell me to go and do things) did not prevent me from working on the list. The List kept me moving forward. "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" Philippians 3:12-14.

I recently saw "Eat, Pray, Love" and although the spiritual thoughts in the movie are not the same as my Christan beliefs, I believe that there are some basic spiritual principles that are true that people should glean. Eat.....well, this year has been a LITTLE too good to me on that front! I think I'm the only person who goes to Ethiopia and GAINS weight!....but oh, the food was so good. Pray.......During this year, my spiritual walk continues to grow. I have continued to work on my issue of "letting go" and letting God lead me. One thing I realize is that this is not a one time event, it is a continual process and I have to do it over and over and over again. But on a daily basis I'm ready to jump and leap--just like the trapeze or the repelling-- when God tells me, I'm listening and I will have faith that He knows what is best for my life. Love....well, I was hoping that this year would bring me a husband and maybe some kids. I know, I know I'm being ridiculous but a girl can hope can't she !? But what God continued to show me is that I have Love all around me and that just because I don't have those things does not mean that I'm not loved.......LOVE IS.......the children who want to hold your hand and play with you in Ethiopia, the patient who writes you a thank you letter because you kept her grounded on a day that she thought she was going to lose it, people who lift you up in prayer, friends who take shifts to care for you after surgery, a friend who did half of "THE LIST" with you.......and the list goes on and on and on in of examples in my head.

God knows the desires of my heart, but I'm glad that in the meantime I'm not consumed by lack of them. That He has filled my life with so many good things, for that....I am grateful.

This past year has been so wonderful, I'm actually sad to see it end. I did "The List" so that I would not be sad about turning 40 and the only thing that I'm upset about is that the list is complete. People ask, "So what are you going to do now that the list is done?" Well, I have decided to have an open ended list. A list of "Things I've never thought about doing but now I've done ....." Without a deadline, there is a lot less pressure, but still it is always fun to try new things, experience new things and LIVE LIFE ABUNDANTLY!!!! "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly" John 10:10. For that is what God wants for his children, that is why he sent his son Jesus...it is the way that I should live my life. Not just because I'm turning 40 but every day. I'm thankful for this lesson.....I'm thankful for His never ending love, grace, support and mercy.