Photos from the home visit
Latrine project , Clinic Staff , Sunrise over lake Langano
Malnutrition day and Patients listening to HIV lesson
Latrine project , Clinic Staff , Sunrise over lake Langano
Malnutrition day and Patients listening to HIV lesson
Its been a month since I left on the journey of a lifetime and I have been back for two weeks and I think that I'm finally ready to talk about it and share the details of my trip.
You see, this was my first missions trip and I guess I was not quite prepared for the impact that it was going to have on me emotionally. I have traveled oversees before and to some poor countries, but I had never been "called" to serve internationally so I was a little worried about what its impact was going to be on me when I was over there, not even thinking that I would have issues upon my return.
I'm a preparer...... I make my lists, I like plans and order, when I don't have that I tend to get very anxious and then I "might" just lose it. God told me that the thing I was to do on this trip was to let HIM lead (a common theme through most of my 40 things) and to let go of the reigns a bit, what that was to look like I had no idea, and I have to say that in of itself was a bit un-nerving. But with everything else on my list I was ready to take the leap and go!
The first week of my life in Ethiopia was an experience that really helped me to trust in God, and it helped to prepare me so much for living in Langano for our second week, for I already felt "at home" in Ethiopia by the time that my team had arrived. See the "Traveling to Ethiopia" blog for more on that journey as this blog is dedicated to my time serving at SIM's clinic at Langano.
Just as Michael and I ended our vacation and were joining up with our Team who was arriving from the US I got ill. I first came down with a very strange rash and within a day or two started feeling terrible with a cough that turned into nasal congestion that was so bad that my nose was like a faucet and at night I thought I would drown in my own congestion (my poor room-mates had to listen to me hack all night long and gurgle in my snot!). So my entire week of seeing patients I felt like absolute poop, but I pressed on because I had to. I don't think I complained or really let on to everyone how very ill I felt, for what else could I do but take anything and everything I could (thank goodness I'm a walking pharmacy) to feel better and chug along.
The enemy could try to steal joy, or peace from me by making me sick, but he didn't....the time was still so blessed.
Each day we would go up to the dining area for breakfast at 7ish then meet with Kim and Dan for morning prayers where we would pray for SIM missionaries and things going on in the world. Then we would head to the clinic where one of our team members would do devotions with the clinic staff and we would have prayer time with the clinic staff. Sometimes one of us would pray in English and sometimes one of the clinic staff would pray in Amharic. There was one man who was their evangelist staff member that when he prayed---whoooah, watch out, you FELT things move! Already at this time patients were lined up outside the clinic, so before clinic started they would do some type of educational class for the patients. On Monday, Dr. Michael was able to give a lesson to the patients on HIV/AIDS before clinic opened which was they paid very close attention to and the patients asked LOTS of questions and it even stirred one woman to come and ask me to have her and her baby tested for HIV (both were negative I am happy to say).
When working in the clinic I usually worked along side a local nurse (well at the beginning anyway). This would help to teach them some medical skills and they would translate for me. At times, we would have to have another translator come in and help us because the people speak Ormo and many of the nurses mainly speak Amharic so when the language got trickier we needed a specific translator to help us out. What surprised me, was there were moments when I was listening to them speak and I understood what the woman had told me before it was translated for me. I'm not sure if it was body language or the familiarity of the complaint we were discussing, but it was almost surreal to me in the few cases when language was temporarily not a barrier.
Monday was women's health and a catch up for general medicine day. I have to say that I was a little disappointed for most of the day as I was doing women's health (and GYN exams) most of the day, while Michael got much more "fun" and exciting things. I had to remind myself that I was glad that my skills and talents of being able to do pelvic exams were being able to be used, and I did not whine about it, but I soooo did not want to get labeled as being the resident gynecologist for the week. It was a VERY busy day in the clinic and we were EXHAUSTED, I saw more patients in 1 day than I see in almost a week in the US!. There was a family that Adonish (the nurse I worked with that day) and I tested for HIV as the baby presented with a skin condition that is very common in HIV disease, so I encouraged them to be tested. They agreed and we were happy and surprised that they were all negative--what a praise! My sickest patient was a little baby with malaria who needed a blood transfusion, which he needed to get at another hospital--hopefully his father will be able to make the trek to that hospital to get it as it is so very far away.
Tuesday was my best and favorite day of my entire time in Langano, it was the most varied and had two of the best spiritual moments for me. During the morning I saw patients in the clinic and I was seeing a woman for a complaint that I was becoming very familiar with, menstrual irregularities and the desire for pregnancy. This is something that a lot of Oromo women seek care for and I had seen a number of women the day before for this complaint. While I was seeing the patient the nurse I was working with said something to me about her praying for a child and it grieved her so......well I took that opportunity and said, we could pray for her right now if she would like? She said yes, so I laid my hands on her belly and prayed. WHICH LET ME TELL YOU IS SOOOOOO NOT ME---that is all GOD! That is something that I would normally not do, I'm just not that bold, but I felt the tug to do it, so I did it and it was awesome!
After a few hours I went to to the malnutrition station. It was malnutrition day where we weighed and measured children who are enrolled into the program to give them nutritional supplementation as there are lots of hungry malnourished kids. Mostly its little babies in the program, but their older siblings were there with them so in between handing out supplements I was sticking stickers on the kids until the man I was working with finished distributing and we had to work again, then the kids scurries away and it was all business.
In the afternoon Bonnie and I were blessed with the opportunity to go on a home visit with Laura, one of the Missionary Nurses. It was to the home of a woman who had delivered over the weekend at the clinic. They do home visits not only from a medical perspective to check on mom and baby, but also for the cultural and spiritual benefit that a visit provides. This was her first child, but she is the step mom to 6 children. She lived in a grass hut and because we were women and medical people we were allowed into the bedroom area to check on her and the baby. After we checked on the baby, we were able to pray a blessing over her and the baby. Her neighbor was helping to take care of her and made us stay for coffee. Its a very social thing and they want to serve us so we had to stay. So we stayed and chatted and played with the kids (I had stickers and lollipops in my bag--I had to tell them to take the wrappers off for one kid popped it in his mouth wrapper and all!) while she set to work on our wonderful coffee experience. To make coffee they take the beans and wet them and put them on a tin plate and roast them over a fire (which yes is inside the hut). Then they ground the coffee with some cloves and added it to the water (I just kept thinking---don't think about where the water came from--its been boiled....oh but where did the water come from that they just washed the cups with--don't think about it Susan!) along with sugar, salt and cream, then it sits for a bit almost like a french press. It is so HOT and they fill the cup all the way to the rim and there are no handle but it is sooooooooo yummmmmmyyy, which is good thing cause custom and edicate dictate that you drink more than one cup (usually 3) but today we only had to drink 2 which is a good thing cause I thought my bladder would burst. The kids were cute and and the visit wonderful! The only thing I could have done without was the flies, they were everywhere!! After our visit we went out to check a village latrine project. SIM has plan to build a certain number of latrines but they ask for village participation and this village needed to dig the hole by a certain date and we were going to check on it. We were nearly mobbed by children as we went to check on it, but it was indeed completed on time! That night I was so exhausted from such a wonderful day that I crashed in my bed with the lights on, people talking....and everything.......
Wednesday I awoke early and spent a little time with God down by the lake watching the sun rise. I followed a path down to what I thought was the beach, but as I was standing in the mud, I was thinking, this just can't be right. I had walked down there using my head lantern and as I'm standing there alone the thought struck me.....LORD, I really DON'T need to see a Hippo, PLEASE don't let me see a Hippo as I'm standing here in this mud. The Lord is was listening and I'm happy to say, that I did not cross paths with a Hippo that morning and once the Sun came up and I found the correct path to the beach, it was a beautiful and peaceful way to start the day. Wednesday was prenatal day. Lots and lots of pregnant bellies to measure and listen to fetal heart tones. Every woman wanted to know "how far along they were". The big excitement of the day was that one of my patients did not make it to the clinic and delivered her baby on a donkey cart coming over the container bridge into the compound. Once she was checked out by one of the NP's I had the opportunity to take care of the mom and baby. It was a humbling experience to have to clean up this woman who had just given birth. I can honestly say that I have never had to do that before and if I had to do that in the US, I would probably think ewwwh, yuck, why me? But that is not what was going through my mind when I went and found a cloth to clean her up. I was thinking I hope I'm gentle and kind enough, I hope she is blessed by this. Once I got mom all cleaned up then I took the baby and and the baby his very first bath and dressed him up in cute little baby clothes that they send all their babies home in.
Thursday- we had no water in clinic today. We had not had water or electricity at our cabin on other days. I had become queen of collecting rain water in buckets at night so that we had water to wash our faces with in the morning. I don't think we ever had water in the morning and we only had water 3 out of the 5 evenings we were there. You see it was solar controlled and at first the guards had forgotten to move the panels before......but by Thursday it was cloudy and rainy---no sun--no water or power. Its hard to see patients when you have no running water!
It was a day of difficult cases.....one of the guards came in with a very sore leg after getting an injection a week before. I diagnosed him with a probable DVT that was probably due to infection. Kim pulled out the Doppler and the two of us were trying to do an ultrasound on him to see if we could follow the flow ( I was thinking--I should have had a crash course from my friend Neal before I left!). He was VERY sick and we took him to Addis Ababa with us the next day so that he could see a specialist. There was a boy that Kim wanted me to see that had spina bifida and club foot. There was a baby with a double cleft lip and palate, there was more malaria, and strange rashes....it was a busy last day. But we were able to fit in that evening "Hippo Hunting", not really hunting, but spotting out on Lake Langano. the rain had stopped so it was a nice relaxing evening out on the lake.
Friday we got up very early in the morning to make the 3-4 hour drive from Langano back to Addis Ababa so that we could do a few very special tours.
We were able to visit the Fistula Hospital, which treats women for free who have had a fistula from childbirth. There is a large number of women with this injury from having children when either too young or because they are too small because of poor nutrition to properly deliver them. It is an amazing facility that produces healing and restoration to these women who are otherwise rejected and shunned from their communities. The grounds are filled with lush gardens filled with gorgeous flowers, the women walk around with beautiful handmade afghan shawls that have made for them by volunteers from around the globe, it truly is an amazing place that could bring tears to your eyes. You would expect the hospital to smell due to the nature of fistulas, but it doesn't....it's immaculate and fresh and just a beautiful place of healing. If you want to know more about it, watch the move "A Walk to Beautiful".
We then went to SIM's ACT AIDS program and had an amazing opportunity to go on a few home visits with them. I went to two homes. One was a 21 year old girl who is an orphan from HIV. Her mother died 6 years ago from AIDS and that is when she was enrolled into the program. She has a 4 year old son and is trying to go to school and has him enrolled in school, she is struggling to juggle all this and finds herself pregnant again and asks for prayer that she will be able to continue school so that she can better her life. The other woman we visited has been diagnosed with AIDS for the past year and is on HIV medications, and she is doing well on them. She was very sick with TB when she was first diagnosed, but she seems to be doing well now, but she seems to isolate her self quite a bit due to her diagnosis and asks for continued prayer for her health. We could not pray for her in her home as her landlord does not allow it.
After this we went to the CURE hospital. CURE is a hospital that provides free care to children to correct cleft palates, club feet etc. It had only been around for two years and is a terrific facility that does some absolutely incredible work! The hospital is filled with beautiful children's mosaics on the walls and the kids were so adorable. I was able to make some of the kids smile with stickers (those stickers--they were the BEST medicine!)
God stretched me in Ethiopia and did something in me while I was there. We did not have water a few too many days out of the week. I actually had a day where I jumped in, got wet, lathered up, went to rinse, water stopped!, but I was resilient.....I was collector of the rainwater....and I had baby wipes (but with my rash I could not use them). I was sick, I was tired, I was dirty. I was out of clean clothes and I had to wash my clothes in someone else's hair rinse water cause we were out of water, it rained on my clean clothes, my clean clothes would not dry, I ate things I would normally never eat (and I don't mean cuisine, I mean I would normally never eat something made by someone at the side of the road---but I did), I did not care about the flies, I did not let things that would bother me in the US bother me. I really feel I was a completely different Susan there. I didn't think about home while I was there. I didn't worry about my house, my dog, my job or even my dad's cancer......I ran away of sorts. I had a sense of peace and a strange calmness about me (which if you know me, you know I am normally anything but calm!)
Perhaps thats why I had such a hard time coming back and assimilating back into life. My first week back, I did not answer my phone much, I really did not want to talk about my trip, I almost wanted to hold it all inside because I was afraid to let any of it go because I might lose a precious bit of it. I felt loney and isolated and I just wanted to cry and I had no idea why. But I understand now, that many people feel that way when they return from a missions trip......I guess I wasn't prepared for running into that brick wall of returning home. All I knew was that I wanted to say there, I wanted to hold onto that calmness and that peace. But now I know, I don't have to be in Ethiopia to trust in God and let him stretch me, I dont have to creap back into my old ways......thats what I need to cling to, thats what I need to remember, I need to remember what it felt like to be there and when I feel that wave of life ready to crash over me I should close my eyes, smell the buna and visualize my life in Ethiopia and regain that peace that God gave to me......for it was a Gift.
Would I do it all over again? Absolutely! Will I go again? We are already talking about a trip for next year. Which if you know me, I'm the kind of person that once I've been someplace I usually don't feel the need to go again because there are so many places in this world to go and see. But with Ethiopia, I feel different, I left part of my heart there.........I have to go back.
You see, this was my first missions trip and I guess I was not quite prepared for the impact that it was going to have on me emotionally. I have traveled oversees before and to some poor countries, but I had never been "called" to serve internationally so I was a little worried about what its impact was going to be on me when I was over there, not even thinking that I would have issues upon my return.
I'm a preparer...... I make my lists, I like plans and order, when I don't have that I tend to get very anxious and then I "might" just lose it. God told me that the thing I was to do on this trip was to let HIM lead (a common theme through most of my 40 things) and to let go of the reigns a bit, what that was to look like I had no idea, and I have to say that in of itself was a bit un-nerving. But with everything else on my list I was ready to take the leap and go!
The first week of my life in Ethiopia was an experience that really helped me to trust in God, and it helped to prepare me so much for living in Langano for our second week, for I already felt "at home" in Ethiopia by the time that my team had arrived. See the "Traveling to Ethiopia" blog for more on that journey as this blog is dedicated to my time serving at SIM's clinic at Langano.
Just as Michael and I ended our vacation and were joining up with our Team who was arriving from the US I got ill. I first came down with a very strange rash and within a day or two started feeling terrible with a cough that turned into nasal congestion that was so bad that my nose was like a faucet and at night I thought I would drown in my own congestion (my poor room-mates had to listen to me hack all night long and gurgle in my snot!). So my entire week of seeing patients I felt like absolute poop, but I pressed on because I had to. I don't think I complained or really let on to everyone how very ill I felt, for what else could I do but take anything and everything I could (thank goodness I'm a walking pharmacy) to feel better and chug along.
The enemy could try to steal joy, or peace from me by making me sick, but he didn't....the time was still so blessed.
Each day we would go up to the dining area for breakfast at 7ish then meet with Kim and Dan for morning prayers where we would pray for SIM missionaries and things going on in the world. Then we would head to the clinic where one of our team members would do devotions with the clinic staff and we would have prayer time with the clinic staff. Sometimes one of us would pray in English and sometimes one of the clinic staff would pray in Amharic. There was one man who was their evangelist staff member that when he prayed---whoooah, watch out, you FELT things move! Already at this time patients were lined up outside the clinic, so before clinic started they would do some type of educational class for the patients. On Monday, Dr. Michael was able to give a lesson to the patients on HIV/AIDS before clinic opened which was they paid very close attention to and the patients asked LOTS of questions and it even stirred one woman to come and ask me to have her and her baby tested for HIV (both were negative I am happy to say).
When working in the clinic I usually worked along side a local nurse (well at the beginning anyway). This would help to teach them some medical skills and they would translate for me. At times, we would have to have another translator come in and help us because the people speak Ormo and many of the nurses mainly speak Amharic so when the language got trickier we needed a specific translator to help us out. What surprised me, was there were moments when I was listening to them speak and I understood what the woman had told me before it was translated for me. I'm not sure if it was body language or the familiarity of the complaint we were discussing, but it was almost surreal to me in the few cases when language was temporarily not a barrier.
Monday was women's health and a catch up for general medicine day. I have to say that I was a little disappointed for most of the day as I was doing women's health (and GYN exams) most of the day, while Michael got much more "fun" and exciting things. I had to remind myself that I was glad that my skills and talents of being able to do pelvic exams were being able to be used, and I did not whine about it, but I soooo did not want to get labeled as being the resident gynecologist for the week. It was a VERY busy day in the clinic and we were EXHAUSTED, I saw more patients in 1 day than I see in almost a week in the US!. There was a family that Adonish (the nurse I worked with that day) and I tested for HIV as the baby presented with a skin condition that is very common in HIV disease, so I encouraged them to be tested. They agreed and we were happy and surprised that they were all negative--what a praise! My sickest patient was a little baby with malaria who needed a blood transfusion, which he needed to get at another hospital--hopefully his father will be able to make the trek to that hospital to get it as it is so very far away.
Tuesday was my best and favorite day of my entire time in Langano, it was the most varied and had two of the best spiritual moments for me. During the morning I saw patients in the clinic and I was seeing a woman for a complaint that I was becoming very familiar with, menstrual irregularities and the desire for pregnancy. This is something that a lot of Oromo women seek care for and I had seen a number of women the day before for this complaint. While I was seeing the patient the nurse I was working with said something to me about her praying for a child and it grieved her so......well I took that opportunity and said, we could pray for her right now if she would like? She said yes, so I laid my hands on her belly and prayed. WHICH LET ME TELL YOU IS SOOOOOO NOT ME---that is all GOD! That is something that I would normally not do, I'm just not that bold, but I felt the tug to do it, so I did it and it was awesome!
After a few hours I went to to the malnutrition station. It was malnutrition day where we weighed and measured children who are enrolled into the program to give them nutritional supplementation as there are lots of hungry malnourished kids. Mostly its little babies in the program, but their older siblings were there with them so in between handing out supplements I was sticking stickers on the kids until the man I was working with finished distributing and we had to work again, then the kids scurries away and it was all business.
In the afternoon Bonnie and I were blessed with the opportunity to go on a home visit with Laura, one of the Missionary Nurses. It was to the home of a woman who had delivered over the weekend at the clinic. They do home visits not only from a medical perspective to check on mom and baby, but also for the cultural and spiritual benefit that a visit provides. This was her first child, but she is the step mom to 6 children. She lived in a grass hut and because we were women and medical people we were allowed into the bedroom area to check on her and the baby. After we checked on the baby, we were able to pray a blessing over her and the baby. Her neighbor was helping to take care of her and made us stay for coffee. Its a very social thing and they want to serve us so we had to stay. So we stayed and chatted and played with the kids (I had stickers and lollipops in my bag--I had to tell them to take the wrappers off for one kid popped it in his mouth wrapper and all!) while she set to work on our wonderful coffee experience. To make coffee they take the beans and wet them and put them on a tin plate and roast them over a fire (which yes is inside the hut). Then they ground the coffee with some cloves and added it to the water (I just kept thinking---don't think about where the water came from--its been boiled....oh but where did the water come from that they just washed the cups with--don't think about it Susan!) along with sugar, salt and cream, then it sits for a bit almost like a french press. It is so HOT and they fill the cup all the way to the rim and there are no handle but it is sooooooooo yummmmmmyyy, which is good thing cause custom and edicate dictate that you drink more than one cup (usually 3) but today we only had to drink 2 which is a good thing cause I thought my bladder would burst. The kids were cute and and the visit wonderful! The only thing I could have done without was the flies, they were everywhere!! After our visit we went out to check a village latrine project. SIM has plan to build a certain number of latrines but they ask for village participation and this village needed to dig the hole by a certain date and we were going to check on it. We were nearly mobbed by children as we went to check on it, but it was indeed completed on time! That night I was so exhausted from such a wonderful day that I crashed in my bed with the lights on, people talking....and everything.......
Wednesday I awoke early and spent a little time with God down by the lake watching the sun rise. I followed a path down to what I thought was the beach, but as I was standing in the mud, I was thinking, this just can't be right. I had walked down there using my head lantern and as I'm standing there alone the thought struck me.....LORD, I really DON'T need to see a Hippo, PLEASE don't let me see a Hippo as I'm standing here in this mud. The Lord is was listening and I'm happy to say, that I did not cross paths with a Hippo that morning and once the Sun came up and I found the correct path to the beach, it was a beautiful and peaceful way to start the day. Wednesday was prenatal day. Lots and lots of pregnant bellies to measure and listen to fetal heart tones. Every woman wanted to know "how far along they were". The big excitement of the day was that one of my patients did not make it to the clinic and delivered her baby on a donkey cart coming over the container bridge into the compound. Once she was checked out by one of the NP's I had the opportunity to take care of the mom and baby. It was a humbling experience to have to clean up this woman who had just given birth. I can honestly say that I have never had to do that before and if I had to do that in the US, I would probably think ewwwh, yuck, why me? But that is not what was going through my mind when I went and found a cloth to clean her up. I was thinking I hope I'm gentle and kind enough, I hope she is blessed by this. Once I got mom all cleaned up then I took the baby and and the baby his very first bath and dressed him up in cute little baby clothes that they send all their babies home in.
Thursday- we had no water in clinic today. We had not had water or electricity at our cabin on other days. I had become queen of collecting rain water in buckets at night so that we had water to wash our faces with in the morning. I don't think we ever had water in the morning and we only had water 3 out of the 5 evenings we were there. You see it was solar controlled and at first the guards had forgotten to move the panels before......but by Thursday it was cloudy and rainy---no sun--no water or power. Its hard to see patients when you have no running water!
It was a day of difficult cases.....one of the guards came in with a very sore leg after getting an injection a week before. I diagnosed him with a probable DVT that was probably due to infection. Kim pulled out the Doppler and the two of us were trying to do an ultrasound on him to see if we could follow the flow ( I was thinking--I should have had a crash course from my friend Neal before I left!). He was VERY sick and we took him to Addis Ababa with us the next day so that he could see a specialist. There was a boy that Kim wanted me to see that had spina bifida and club foot. There was a baby with a double cleft lip and palate, there was more malaria, and strange rashes....it was a busy last day. But we were able to fit in that evening "Hippo Hunting", not really hunting, but spotting out on Lake Langano. the rain had stopped so it was a nice relaxing evening out on the lake.
Friday we got up very early in the morning to make the 3-4 hour drive from Langano back to Addis Ababa so that we could do a few very special tours.
We were able to visit the Fistula Hospital, which treats women for free who have had a fistula from childbirth. There is a large number of women with this injury from having children when either too young or because they are too small because of poor nutrition to properly deliver them. It is an amazing facility that produces healing and restoration to these women who are otherwise rejected and shunned from their communities. The grounds are filled with lush gardens filled with gorgeous flowers, the women walk around with beautiful handmade afghan shawls that have made for them by volunteers from around the globe, it truly is an amazing place that could bring tears to your eyes. You would expect the hospital to smell due to the nature of fistulas, but it doesn't....it's immaculate and fresh and just a beautiful place of healing. If you want to know more about it, watch the move "A Walk to Beautiful".
We then went to SIM's ACT AIDS program and had an amazing opportunity to go on a few home visits with them. I went to two homes. One was a 21 year old girl who is an orphan from HIV. Her mother died 6 years ago from AIDS and that is when she was enrolled into the program. She has a 4 year old son and is trying to go to school and has him enrolled in school, she is struggling to juggle all this and finds herself pregnant again and asks for prayer that she will be able to continue school so that she can better her life. The other woman we visited has been diagnosed with AIDS for the past year and is on HIV medications, and she is doing well on them. She was very sick with TB when she was first diagnosed, but she seems to be doing well now, but she seems to isolate her self quite a bit due to her diagnosis and asks for continued prayer for her health. We could not pray for her in her home as her landlord does not allow it.
After this we went to the CURE hospital. CURE is a hospital that provides free care to children to correct cleft palates, club feet etc. It had only been around for two years and is a terrific facility that does some absolutely incredible work! The hospital is filled with beautiful children's mosaics on the walls and the kids were so adorable. I was able to make some of the kids smile with stickers (those stickers--they were the BEST medicine!)
God stretched me in Ethiopia and did something in me while I was there. We did not have water a few too many days out of the week. I actually had a day where I jumped in, got wet, lathered up, went to rinse, water stopped!, but I was resilient.....I was collector of the rainwater....and I had baby wipes (but with my rash I could not use them). I was sick, I was tired, I was dirty. I was out of clean clothes and I had to wash my clothes in someone else's hair rinse water cause we were out of water, it rained on my clean clothes, my clean clothes would not dry, I ate things I would normally never eat (and I don't mean cuisine, I mean I would normally never eat something made by someone at the side of the road---but I did), I did not care about the flies, I did not let things that would bother me in the US bother me. I really feel I was a completely different Susan there. I didn't think about home while I was there. I didn't worry about my house, my dog, my job or even my dad's cancer......I ran away of sorts. I had a sense of peace and a strange calmness about me (which if you know me, you know I am normally anything but calm!)
Perhaps thats why I had such a hard time coming back and assimilating back into life. My first week back, I did not answer my phone much, I really did not want to talk about my trip, I almost wanted to hold it all inside because I was afraid to let any of it go because I might lose a precious bit of it. I felt loney and isolated and I just wanted to cry and I had no idea why. But I understand now, that many people feel that way when they return from a missions trip......I guess I wasn't prepared for running into that brick wall of returning home. All I knew was that I wanted to say there, I wanted to hold onto that calmness and that peace. But now I know, I don't have to be in Ethiopia to trust in God and let him stretch me, I dont have to creap back into my old ways......thats what I need to cling to, thats what I need to remember, I need to remember what it felt like to be there and when I feel that wave of life ready to crash over me I should close my eyes, smell the buna and visualize my life in Ethiopia and regain that peace that God gave to me......for it was a Gift.
Would I do it all over again? Absolutely! Will I go again? We are already talking about a trip for next year. Which if you know me, I'm the kind of person that once I've been someplace I usually don't feel the need to go again because there are so many places in this world to go and see. But with Ethiopia, I feel different, I left part of my heart there.........I have to go back.
simply... wonderfully... amazing... God moved in a big way and I am SO happy you were able to hear Him call your name!
ReplyDelete